Hey, Sernaro here. I’m writing this in advance this time so I don’t know what kind of spot I’ll be in when this post comes through but I realize I need help.
For the past few months I’ve written blogs, stories, and quotes regarding a certain individual that I can’t seem to get over. There may very well be no reason to worry but seeing that he’s out there and I’m still here yearning for him makes me realize what I want may very well be what I need to avoid.
I want something serious, something with commitment and I couldn’t have asked them of him if it meant holding him down when he himself wants to travel and experience new things. I realize now that not telling him how I feel and asking him how he felt about us is straining my mind and bringing out the worst in me. Bad thoughts started swirling in my head that I couldn’t escape.
“He probably hates me, why else would he have tried to date my friend before even realizing I liked him?” “You’re always so useless, why even bother texting if he won’t reply?” “You were never anyone’s first choice, no one deserves you.”. I’m not healthy and even though I don’t want to have to live without him for a bit, I’ve chosen to put my fullest attention on my life and my writing to remind me who I am and find out what I want in someone and why that meant him.
It hurts. I can’t deny that any longer and its not healthy anymore to yearn for him. He’s probably not reading this but I need my time to recover and much he really need his right now and I should’ve realized that. Sernaro, signing off.